I lie awake looking at photos of you.
I smile at the memories, I cry at the pain I feel.
I imagine you taking the piss out of me, telling me to stop acting like a big wimp and man up, it makes me laugh.
There are memories of you everywhere!
A funny Facebook video, we did that.
A TV programme, we did that.
A sporting event, we did that.
Just wish they weren't just memories and they were new chapters being written in your life!
I keep telling people "It will get easier" but truth is it doesn't feel that way. We could all do with someone like you to help us get through this, your sarcasm and ability to make people laugh was a gift and we were all lucky to have had that hurled at us at one time or another.
I dream of you a lot and you had me looking for you all over the house the other night when I woke and thought you were standing over me while I slept. I was upset when I couldn't find you, I even looked in the fridge????? I just wanted to speak to you in person again and not a photo.
I just wanted to tell you I love you and let you know that you're the best little brother anyone could ask for (Sorry John & Derek) 💔
Alan
2nd March 2021